


It's Not What You Think

by Brewis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming of Age, Firsts, Fluff, Getting Together, Graduation, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mutual Pining, Senior year, This was gonna be straight up comedy but it got v emotional, so much swearing pls cover ur ears children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-15 22:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7241767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brewis/pseuds/Brewis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The line between genuine concern and excruciating annoyance has always been alarmingly thin for Kageyama. It seems that, over the years, particularly after starting high school, the people who take up the most space in his heart are also the people he most deeply desires to deck in the face. Kageyama is reminded of this when he discovers Hinata out on the sidewalk by the shops, begging - BEGGING - for money.</p><p>(Or, approaching the end of senior year, Hinata starts acting more stupid than usual, and Kageyama wants to know what's going on.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not What You Think

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT: This fic is sort-of-not-really-an-AU. Everything is the same for the most part, but it's rather westernized for technical purposes. Enjoy!

The line between genuine concern and excruciating annoyance has always been alarmingly thin for Kageyama. It seems that, over the years, particularly after starting high school, the people who take up the most space in his heart are also the people he most deeply desires to deck in the face. Kageyama is reminded of this when he discovers Hinata out on the sidewalk by the shops, begging -  _ begging -  _ for money.

 

Hinata is so focused on his disgustingly cheerful panhandling that he doesn't see Kageyama coming and consequently makes a series of sounds so close in resemblance to those of a goat that Kageyama is tempted to check behind him to see if there's actually one hidden there.

 

“Honestly, Hinata, what the fuck?”

 

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Hinata blathers. It's a pretty stupid question. Kageyama glaring at Hinata is answer enough.

 

“I live here, dumbass,” he retorts nonetheless. “Is your family living off bread crumbs? What the hell’s going on?”

 

Hinata looks like he's going to answer, but his mouth closes shortly after it opens. He then looks a bit conflicted, then a bit desperate, like he really wants to say something. Then he looks sad, and then guilty as he looks away and stares at the ground. It's quite the spectacle.

 

“Wow,” says Kageyama, appropriately. 

 

“I’m going home,” Hinata mumbles, scooping up an upturned ball cap littered with coins and the odd bill, along with a small cardboard sign. When Kageyama tilts his head to see what's written on it, Hinata squawks and, in a state of panic, uses it to whack Kageyama square in the face. 

 

Neither of them move for a few moments.

 

“Hinata…” Kageyama starts, his voice emerging from the very bottom of his throat.

 

Hinata practically screams, and with his things tucked beneath his arm, runs away without looking back. Kageyama is too stunned to follow.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Hinata starts ignoring Kageyama at school.

 

No, ignoring isn't quite right. Ignoring seems to entail a lot more disregard for someone's whole living existence, and a lot less staring at Kageyama when the short bastard thinks he isn't looking. And a WHOLE lot less of quite literally  _ running away  _ when Kageyama tries to ask him what the fuck he’s doing.

 

A few days after ‘the incident’ (it's actually ‘whatever the hell Tuesday fucking was’, in Kageyama’s personal narration), Kageyama is at the shops again in the evening. He certainly isn't checking to see if Hinata is still begging, of course, he's only treating some particularly savage cravings he's got for banana yogurt. It's the truth, as he decided about 11 seconds before entering the grocer’s door.

 

Imagine his surprise as he steps in to see that Hinata is, in fact, present, pushing a broom and wearing a black bandana to pull his fiery hair away from his face. He stops mid-sweep to stare back at Kageyama in horror.

 

“Are you… kidding me…”

 

The broom clatters to the floor, and Hinata’s making a run for the staff room, but Kageyama yanks him by the back of his collar and he falls into the taller boy’s chest, looking perfectly embarrassed. 

 

“Stupid Kageyama! Are you trying to choke me?” Hinata growls, straightening the collar of his pale yellow sweatshirt for much longer than what is actually necessary.

 

“I don't think you need my help choking, you've pretty much got that covered every time I try to talk to you.”

 

“See? It's still your fault!” 

 

“How the hell is it my fault? I only got halfway through your name the last time you ran away from me! You're seriously pissing me off, Hinata!”

 

Hinata flinches and does that thing with his face again. Kageyama’s ceaseless insults toward him have grown to be nearly affectionate in taste, so the lack of profanity attached like a grammatical particle to the end of Hinata’s name is strangely off-putting, and the redhead scrunches his face up in distaste.

 

“Am I not allowed to have a job?” Hinata almost whispers, like he had planned to keep the argument at its previous heat but has already given up. 

 

“Does your job require you to sit outside grinning at strangers like The Little Hobo Who Could? I haven't seen a single other business with a show quite like that, now that I think about it.” 

 

“What are you being such an asspick for? I’m just-”

 

“You're just getting money, yeah, but my problem is that you're acting like this is some big secret deal that’ll save my life as long as you keep avoiding me! Why can't you tell me what's going on with you? Is someone threatening you or something?” 

 

“No!” Hinata looks alarmed by this notion, his voice rising. Kageyama feels a spark of hope that he might get the stubborn mule to speak.

 

“Then WHAT?”

 

Hinata goes quiet again, and Kageyama feels his heart drop into his stomach. He's lost again.

 

“I don't want to talk about it,” Hinata really whispers this time, and his expression is so indecipherable that Kageyama can't think of a proper response to save his life. He’s frustrated and red-faced, but desperation and guilt somehow manage to be present at the same time. Kageyama watches him pick up the broom, moving as if he’s set on auto-pilot, and drag his feet (and the broom) into the staff room. Kageyama only walks away when the door has been closed for a full minute. 

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Despite his best efforts and some assorted denial-of-feelings in the form of “totally irrefutable logic”, Kageyama doesn't make it two doors down before he stops walking. He just stands there, trying to decide what to do next. And when he can't think of anything to do next, he decides he'll just keep standing there. He's tired and sore from practice and he cannot seem to slap the mosquito that's been pestering him this whole time, but he stands there.

 

Inside, Hinata continues sweeping after peeking through the door to ensure Kageyama’s absence. He completes his remaining cleaning duties with such lethargy that even the old woman who comes in every night for a bag of mints and a bingo card (who probably wouldn't notice if she came by the next night and the store had been reconstructed into a children’s playground, as long as she could still buy her God damn mints) asks him if he's okay. He tries to smile at her and assure her that he certainly is okay, but she shakes her head and says that she can recognize heartbreak a mile away. Hinata slaps his face into his hands and screams inside his mouth when she finally continues walking to the counter.

 

People sure love to ask him questions today. This is what propels Hinata to speed through packing his bag like it's nobody's business (because for God’s sake, it really isn’t) and bolt out the door, not turning around when he waves goodbye to the manager. He paces down the sidewalk with his shoulders stiff and his head down, feeling a bit like a bull. Or a 5-year-old. And then he crashes into Kageyama’s chest for the second time that day.

 

Kageyama doesn't say “oof” like he should have, because he's watched Hinata coming the whole time, and is a bit astonished that he sincerely didn't see him standing there. Hinata, on the other hand, yells like an imbecile. Naturally. 

 

For a second, Hinata looks pretty happy to see him. And then he doesn't. 

 

“Why are you here? I'm done working. Wait, have you been here the whole time? Are those mosquito bites? Aren't you itch-”

 

“I'm walking you home,” Kageyama blurts, grabbing Hinata’s wrist and pulling him along. 

 

“Huh? Kageyama, you're being weird. I know where my own house is, I don't need you to w-”

 

“I’m  _ walking _ ,” Kageyama repeats, “you  _ home _ .”

 

Hinata, tired of being interrupted, and also just tired in general, shuts up. 

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Kageyama, absolutely not reluctantly, lets go of Hinata's wrist once he's sure the boy won't run away once he does so. They walk in silence, and although Hinata drags a pace or two behind him at first, they're soon walking side by side again. Kageyama feels some of the annoying heavy feelings in his chest dissipate, and he nearly sighs out loud in relief. Even though Hinata still hasn't looked at him. Oh well, as long as he doesn't think about it, he won't let it get to him.

 

He thinks about it, though.

 

He's not sure when it started, but he's fidgeting with the lining in his jacket pockets now, picking off tiny pieces of lint and rolling them between his fingers, trying not to look at Hinata. Looking at him now would mean he'd lost, or something, obviously.

 

“Kageyama?”

 

He's never been so happy to hear his own name before, and he nearly bites his tongue when his head snaps up just in time to not walk face-first into Hinata’s front door.

 

“We’re here.” 

 

Kageyama nods, but doesn't move to leave. He looks down at Hinata, finally, who's still fascinated with his own fingernails.  

 

“Hinata.”

 

“Yeah, what?” 

 

“Look at me.”

 

“No.”

 

“Hinata, please.”

 

Hinata’s eyes widen. Kageyama speaking this softly must be some kind of supernatural phenomenon, so he allows himself to look up. He is not prepared in any conceivable form for the way Kageyama is looking at him. 

 

There aren't any special words for it, really. Kageyama just looks like he's looking at Hinata because he wants to. But that in itself is pretty overwhelming, especially because he isn't saying anything. Apparently having Hinata look at him was his only goal, anything beyond that would be improvisation.

 

Apparently satisfied, Kageyama finally looks away, clearing his throat. This time, Hinata is the one who keeps staring at him. Just as Kageyama’s about to ask to use Hinata’s bathroom, the latter speaks up.

 

“Do you want tea?”

 

Kageyama is caught off-guard, but he nods.

 

Tea is a silent affair. Kageyama mumbles “hi” to Hinata’s parents, who seem to sense the mood and go back to watching TV without another word (fucking thank  _ GOD _ ). While they sit awkwardly at the otherwise empty dinner table, Kageyama graciously decides not to point out that Hinata, who is swinging his feet in an abhorrently cute manner, is too short for his feet to touch the floor. Instead, he studies his surroundings, and listens to the low muffled sounds of Hinata’s parents talking over the television in the other room. He deducts that Hinata’s family is not sleeping in dirt or eating out of garbage bins. In fact, they live quite nicely. That's one thing off the list. But he knows better than to voice these thoughts, at least for now. He needs a different approach.

 

With that in mind, he thanks Hinata for the tea and makes some excuse about his mother getting worried, and with that he’s off. He doesn't notice that Hinata watches him through an upstairs window until he's too far away to see. 

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Saturday is the last straw.

 

He'd thought things were fine between them now, if not a little awkward - even so, neither of them had been to each other’s homes before, so a bit of tension was a given. But despite seeming to have been on good terms, and although Hinata didn't pointedly look away from him now, he was still being fidgety and evasive. Not to mention that Kageyama still didn't have an answer to his damn question. 

 

He grew more irritable as the hours passed. It was really pissing him off, just how much he was thinking about Hinata lately. The worst part was the realization that he didn't really  _ know  _ anything about him, outside of volleyball. On the other hand, when Hinata looked at him, he felt like an open book. 

 

Kageyama has never been a patient person, so it's a miracle that it takes him so long to snap. He does nothing at Friday practice when Hinata misses all his tosses, he does nothing when Hinata hides in the bathroom to get changed, he doesn't even do anything when Hinata runs home before Kageyama’s even done getting changed. 

 

He does snap, however, when he goes out to town the next day and finds the oaf shifting back and forth from foot to foot at a busy intersection, eyeing each passing car with a look of painful concentration. Painful, because it is Hinata and concentrating doesn't quite come easily to him. 

 

Kageyama’s irritation increases as Hinata continues to fidget through three cycles of traffic light changes, the ‘walk’ light switching on and back off as it does. Hinata doesn't cross. He only  _ fidgets _ . Kageyama loses it. 

 

“Explain,” he says simply, keeping his voice steady and seething inside. Hinata’s whole body flinches, but he manages not to make any animal noises this time around. Kageyama’s almost disappointed. Almost.

 

“Are you stalking me?”

 

“Why would anyone want to stalk you, dumbass? Explain.”

 

“Well, see,” Hinata starts waving his arms around as if this will somehow placate him. “I’m kinda waiting for the right moment to go out on the road, because I was thinking that if I could somehow go in front of a car that's going fast but like not  _ too  _ fast because I don't want to die, but like just a little bit fast, then it'd hit me, right? And since it's not going  _ too  _ fast then maybe I'd get hurt but not that hurt because volleyball but then the driver would get in trouble and maybe give me some money…”

 

Kageyama’s mouth has been steadily becoming more ajar as Hinata’s spiel goes on, and is hanging open by the time Hinata trails off. The latter looks down in shame, as though only realizing how stupid the story is now that he's said it out loud. Which, actually, is probably the case. 

 

“You're unbelievable,” Kageyama says, sounding more amazed than aggravated. Hinata’s shoulders relax a bit, and he laughs quietly.

 

“The worst part is, I'm telling the truth.”

 

Kageyama smiles, just a little bit. Hinata, looking up now, finds himself unable to look away. But the eye contact is reassuring. It feels like things are good between them again (well, as good as things can be between them). 

 

“Hey, uh…” Kageyama starts, uncharacteristically gently. He could swear Hinata’s head tilts, like a dog hearing its favourite word.  _ Kill me now,  _ Kageyama thinks.

 

“Mm?”

 

“You wanna go back to my place?” he asks, and quickly becomes embarrassed, and scrambles to put together another sentence.  “I-I mean, you're gonna get your sorry ass killed if I leave you alone for five minutes! And I won't be held responsible for the dumb shit you get yourself into.”

 

Hinata grins, and Kageyama feels a surge of about eight different emotions course through him. He's missed that sunny smile more than he'd realized.

 

“Okay.”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


_ What now?  _

 

Kageyama’s never had to serve someone tea before, and he burns himself twice by spilling hot water, swearing loudly each time. Hinata nearly dies laughing, even when Kageyama threatens to dump the rest of the boiling water over his head. 

 

When he sets the tea on the living room table and turns on the television, Hinata asks him where his parents are.

 

“Away today,” he replies curtly. “Taking a vacation for their anniversary.”

 

Hinata nods, and goes quiet. Kageyama finds it more annoying than when he's being too loud. In fact, he finds himself wondering how he ever could've thought Hinata was  _ too  _ loud.

 

Kageyama’s sitting at the back of the table, and Hinata’s sitting on the right side. Now, if you've ever sat in this particular arrangement with a person you enjoy looking at, you will know that it is optimal to be in Kageyama’s position, because while Hinata is looking at the TV, Kageyama can stare at him without him noticing. So he's almost feeling contented, until Hinata gets up and starts looking around. Now he can only look at the back of his head, which isn't quite as enjoyable. He returns his attention to the television with a sigh.

 

_ What now?  _ He thinks.  _ What do I do now?  _

 

He remembers thinking he needed to take a different approach with Hinata. If he gets aggressive and starts yelling,  Hinata will only do the same. So, if he wants Hinata to respond gently and honestly…

 

… fuck. 

 

He prays to whatever Gods he can think of that Hinata isn't the gossipy type, and turns off the TV. Hinata is still turned away, poking at Kageyama’s family photos. 

 

“Hinata, do you trust me?” Kageyama can't believe he's saying this. The boy in question turns around (finally), his expression of surprise softening into a horribly warm look in a few seconds.

 

“Yeah,” he says, sounding like he wants to say more. “I do.”

 

Kageyama nods and looks down, picking at his fingernails with great focus.

 

“I trust you too, Hinata,” he murmurs, straining not to throw a profanity in there if only to lift some of the colour from his cheeks. “And I don't want to pry into your personal life, but I… I mean, I just want you to tell me… no. Fuck, uh… I guess what I want to say is… I worry about you. And I worry that I’m not doing everything I can for you. I… I just really want to make sure you're okay, okay?”

 

Hinata’s starting to worry that Kageyama can hear his heart beating from across the room. His chest lurches every time he repeats Kageyama’s words in his head, every time he looks at Kageyama’s face. The boy at the table is trying so hard to open up to him, to make him feel safe. Hinata’s previous resolve cracks,  and he turns back to look at the pictures.

 

“It's not that my family is poor or anything,” he starts, and Kageyama looks up at him without moving his head. “But I've never liked asking my parents for money. It's like… they work hard every day just to put food on the table, so why would they give money on a whim to a freeloader like me? So when… stuff came up that will cost me a lot of money, I couldn't even imagine asking them for help. I decided I needed to do everything I could think of to save up.” 

 

Kageyama nods again. “But… what is it that’s making you so desperate?”

 

Hinata stiffens. “I’m… I can't tell you.”

 

Kageyama’s patience crumbles again and his voice rises. “Why not? Someone’s threatening you, aren't they?”

 

Hinata’s whips his head around angrily. “I already told you, no!”

 

“Then do you owe someone money for something? Did you run into trouble with a loan shark?”

 

“No, Kageyama! I’m not that stupid!”

 

“Like hell you aren't! You were putting your life on the line out there for a few bucks!”

 

“I was not, I told you I was waiting for the right moment!”

 

“You can't honestly think that was going to work!” Kageyama’s standing up now, glaring hard. “You were gonna get all battered up just to get money for God-knows-what that you won't even tell me-”

 

“I wanted to ask you to prom!” Hinata blurts.

 

This time, it's Kageyama’s turn to shut up.

 

“I would feel really stupid if I went through the effort of asking you and then ended up unable to go… so I thought I should get the money together first. Prom is expensive, and… well, honestly, I wanted extra money too, enough to pay for two tickets, in case I really needed to convince you to go… with me…”

 

When Kageyama only stares at him, Hinata turns back around to the photos. 

 

“Well… I really, really like you, so…” he trails off again, his voice falling. 

 

Fingers scratching into the shelf varnish, Hinata squeezes his eyes shut in the silence that follows, preparing himself for the worst. His heart is beating so hard he almost feels sick. He thinks he'll vomit when he hears Kageyama walking towards him, his feet hitting the ground heavily, like he's in a rush.

 

Kageyama grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around, and Hinata’s sure he's going to be punched. He's midway through an apology, but he's cut off abruptly when Kageyama’s lips smash into his own.

 

It takes Hinata a moment to process this, then all he can seem to think is  _ yes,  _ **_yes_ ** and he kisses Kageyama back. Kageyama gets too excited and grabs his waist, kissing him so hard that Hinata loses his footing and crashes into the shelf behind him. A few picture frames topple over, and a stack of checkbooks and miscellaneous papers scatters to the floor. Hinata grunts, but he does not so much as open his eyes, wrapping his arms around Kageyama’s neck instead. Kageyama’s kissing him so wildly that Hinata can barely keep up, tilting his head this way and that as if scouting Hinata out from every possible angle, committing him to memory.

 

When some pens start to roll off the shelf to join the papers, Kageyama has enough rationality left to yank Hinata up by his thighs and carry him away from the disaster zone. Now that Hinata's head is above him, he's taking control, though he can't do much with the rest of his body but wrap himself tightly around Kageyama. His kisses move away from Kageyama’s mouth as the latter moves back over to the coffee table, and balances Hinata in one arm while the other trembling arm stacks the teacups precariously and moves them out of the way, nearly dropping them when Hinata starts kissing his ear. 

 

Once the cups are (relatively) safely out of the way, Kageyama lowers Hinata onto his back on the table so fast he may as well have dropped him. Hinata doesn't really care, continuing his work on Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama slides him forward so he can fit a knee in between Hinata’s legs to support himself, then rudely interrupts the short boy’s handiwork when he grabs both sides of his jaw to reconnect their lips. Hinata's arms loosen around Kageyama’s neck and roam down to his shoulders, feeling the way his shoulder blades move underneath his shirt, then down to his back, rubbing small circles there. Kageyama thinks he'll explode. So he comes up for air, as a precaution.

 

When he'd invited Hinata over, it wasn't his original plan to pin him to a coffee table and pant into his mouth, but nevertheless he had no complaints. He didn't have much of anything right now, actually, because it feels like the only thing in his head is a cycling, repetitive line of jumbled whatever-the-hell. Somewhere in the gibberish he's thinking about how good Hinata smells.

 

The latter’s eyes open beneath him, their foreheads still touching. He giggles.

 

“So, um… Kageyama, do you like me?” 

 

“Shut the fuck up.”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


They go to prom together, of course. 

 

They don't make a huge deal out of it, since they're trying to keep their…  _ association  _ a secret. The people who matter will figure it out on their own, anyways. But Hinata still enjoys seeing Kageyama in a suit, and Kageyama even tells him he looks handsome when he comes to pick Hinata up. (Hinata excuses himself, runs to the bathroom, buries his face into a folded towel and  _ screams _ .) 

 

It won’t be a proper outing for the two of them if Hinata doesn’t make Kageyama angry at least once. So, determined to outdo himself, he makes Kageyama angry three times.

 

The first time is when he tries to get Kageyama to dance with him. It seems that getting him there was the most he could ask for, any requests once they stepped into the venue were subsequently invalid. He tries to grab Kageyama’s hands and shoot them up and to the sides to the beat, which earns him a karate chop to the skull. He decides to dance with some classmates instead. Kageyama watches him with a frighteningly non-frightening smile. 

 

The second time he makes Kageyama angry is when “Dr. Wanna Do” comes on, and Hinata seems to think it is necessary to mouth the lyrics while looking Kageyama dead in the eyes. Hinata is a terrible dancer; he's got an awful case of boy-hips (he has absolutely no swing), his rhythm is off, he trips over his own feet and giggles, and it's the sexiest thing Kageyama has ever witnessed. And how dare he? How fucking  _ dare  _ he?

 

The third time comes after the event is over, so Hinata isn't quite sure it counts. But it's worth noting, at least. They've left the venue and Hinata says something about not wanting the night to end yet, so Kageyama drives them to school. 

 

One of the many advantages of attending a school on the countryside is the lack of technological security , so sneaking in is a breeze. Kageyama’s schoolbag is in the backseat of the car, so he digs out the gymnasium keys before they set out. They don't turn on the lights so as not to be seen, letting the glow of the moon light their way. They feel only a partial thrill of rebellion, the gymnasium is so familiar that even breaking and entering doesn't feel all too strange. They dig out a volleyball and, incredibly inappropriately dressed for the occasion, start their routine tossing and spiking. Which turns out to be a terrible idea, by the way, as it doesn't take very long for them to get uncomfortably sweaty in the formal wear. So they opt for just volleying the ball back and forth instead, then they're sitting on the floor and tossing it, and then they're just lying there, side by side.

 

They can see the stars out the balcony windows, and Hinata stares at them like he's never seen them before. It's strikingly similar to the way Kageyama looks at him. 

 

“I remember our first big loss,” Hinata murmurs. “You and me came here together and screamed our guts out. When we were done, we were lying on the floor, kinda like this.”

 

“Except you were down face first with your ass in the air.” 

 

“Sh-shut up! You were all crumpled upside-down against the wall!”

 

“Whatever, you wanna know something?”

 

“What?”

 

“I thought your butt looked pretty nice.” 

 

Hinata bursts out laughing and whacks Kageyama in the chest. “Honestly, the way your shirt was falling and showing your stomach sorta killed me.” 

 

Kageyama grins, half embarrassed and half smug, and shoves Hinata’s face to the side. Hinata laughs harder. 

 

When his laughter dies down, they're facing each other. Kageyama’s hand inches across the space between them, and soon enough their fingers are laced together. 

 

“We’re really graduating, huh?” Hinata whispers. 

 

“Yeah,” Kageyama whispers, crestfallen, “we really are.” 

 

Hinata sighs and smiles bitterly. Kageyama decides the look doesn't suit him.

 

“When things got rough, sometimes I would think that I couldn't wait for high school to be over. But it's a whole different story when you really get there. You start wondering if you've done enough.”

 

Kageyama doesn't reply.

 

“But you have to stop those thoughts the moment they start, because I think moving forward with no regrets is the most important thing you can do. If you let yourself overthink things, then you'll only fall into a pit of misery. Like,  _ poom _ ! You know?”

 

For once, Kageyama completely understands, and it irritates him to the core.

 

“I have to be glad that I came here - and I am - and look forward to where I'm going next. After all, you'll be with me, won't you?

 

This is the part where Kageyama gets angry. 

 

“Of course I will, dumbass!” He snaps, grabbing the nearby volleyball and throwing it at Hinata’s head. He misses, and it hits his shoulder, but it still hurts. 

 

“Ow! What the hell?” 

 

Kageyama sits up and turns away, his hands balling into fists by his sides.

 

“Why do you have to say everything out loud? We're all thinking the same things, why can't you  _ ever  _ sense the mood and shut up? You take me out to have a good time and I was honestly having more fun than I've ever had playing volleyball and then you… you…” his voice starts shaking. That's when Hinata realizes.

 

“Kageyama...” his voice has dropped back to a whisper. “...are you crying?”

 

“Fuck no! Idiot!” He's definitely crying.

 

Hinata feels a lump rising in his throat, and he crawls over to sit in Kageyama’s lap, wrapping his legs around his back. He moves slowly, so Kageyama doesn't get more agitated and shove him away. He snakes his arms underneath Kageyama’s, around his back, and hugs him tight. He turns his head to the right and presses into Kageyama’s chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat. Kageyama starts shaking hard, trying to keep everything inside. Then Hinata starts rubbing his back, and that's all it takes.

 

Kageyama overflows, folding his arms around Hinata’s shoulders and burying his face in the boy’s hair. He starts sobbing,  _ really _ sobbing, his body jolting each time he cries out. He holds Hinata, tight, and rubs his face deeper into the soft orange hair. He doesn’t often cry in front of people, and he’s never cried like  _ this _ , not even alone. Figures it would be Hinata. Fuck, fuck, he loves him. 

 

“I…” Kageyama tries, but he's crying too hard to talk. Hinata squeezes him tighter, his own tears escaping quietly. He starts taking deep breaths to stay calm, and Kageyama seems to follow his example. His sobs begin to slow down, and he tries again.

 

“Hinata, I…  _ hic...  _ like you so  _ fucking  _ much…” 

 

Hinata laughs softly. “I like you too.”

 

“I don't want…  _ hic…  _ to leave here. Wish  _ hic…  _ I could've stayed here longer. Wish I could be  _ hic…  _ a freshman again.” 

 

“Me too,” Hinata sniffles, “but remember what I said. We have to keep looking forward. And I’ll be with you.” 

 

“Yeah  _ hic _ … you're right.” 

 

“I think that's the first time you've ever said that to me.”

 

“Shut up, stupid.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama drives Hinata home minutes before 1 AM, and it's never been harder to leave his side. Hinata’s family is asleep, and Kageyama steps into the front hall, the door still wide open behind him. They kiss, too soft and too gentle to be heard, over and over again. He holds himself together until he gets back to the car, and he melts into his seat, burning everywhere. 

 

He's positively exhausted by the time he washes up and goes to bed. He stares at the  moonlit ceiling for a few minutes as he's drifting off, listening to the breeze outside and thinking about everything. 

 

He’d hated to admit it, but yes, Hinata is right. He'll move forward, chin held high. He'll go to a new school in the new season with his new boyfriend -  _ wow, boyfriend  _ \- and join a new team. And they'll be together, of course. Always.

 

_ End _

**Author's Note:**

> This was gonna be a very short, like, 1000 words or less fic. I got very, very carried away. Also, it was gonna be a stupid short story about the dumb shit Hinata does for money, and I was going to end it at the initial confession. But once I started writing the prom stuff I couldn't stop because I'm leaving high school next week G O D.. btw I've never been to prom because I can't afford it lmao sorry if this is inaccurate I tried not to go into very much detail.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!


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